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 Post subject: Selfish
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 7:25 am 
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Location: Dog House
So someone decided to end it all at Hayes station yesterday at 5°clock.

Caused chaos :evil:

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 Post subject: Re: Selfish
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:42 am 
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Kremmen wrote:
So someone decided to end it all at Hayes station yesterday at 5°clock.
Caused chaos :evil:

That is terrible and selfish when so many others have to be involved, If ever I got that low, as to want to end it all, my prefered method is to be shot by a jelous husband :shock: ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Selfish
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:51 pm 
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I am sorry, that I simply do not understand how anyone can use the word 'selfish' to describe an event that has bought so much personal pain and emotional trauma to a conclusion. Yes, this so-called 'one under' like all suicide methods, has a massive effect on so many people. Indeed, suicide always has huge effects on so many, family, friends., colleagues and so on - plus those who are called in to clear up the emotional & physical mess left by such a dramatic event such as being struck by a 120 MPH train.

I have been one of those involved in the clear up, (and rescue of those who are terribly injured but survived) of many suicides including those who jump from tall buildings, set themselves alight and dive under trains, and trust me, it ain't nice. But my thoughts were always with those who had been in so much pain to have gone through with this act in the first place. I have experienced emotional ups & downs - perhaps we all do, but I cannot imaging being so low to kill myself.

If I ever find myself on that path, I may also choose the Network Rail train route, as other methods of suicide are far less reliable. Is that selfish or sensible when your aim is to die and not end up severely crippled thereby worsening your pain?

BTW, I understand that this victim was a 19/20 year old ex pupil of Douay Martyrs School (and was known by my daughter). It's so sad that such a young man has died in such circumstances, but evidence that one of the biggest groups of suicide victims are young men :cry:


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 Post subject: Re: Selfish
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2012 7:00 pm 
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I can quite believe that about young men, the hormones are running wild, reasoning on a knifes edge, problems amplified beyond reasonable, bewildered emotionally, insecure and vulnerable, so many things in the modern world have an effect, homeless, jobless, no money, drug addiction, plus a bad emotional experience, who knows what goes on, in a young mans head, I cant believe sombody somewhere never saw the signs, God rest his soul. :cry: :cry:

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 Post subject: Re: Selfish
PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 10:57 pm 
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I agree with SOT on this, it's not selfish, no one can really understand how low and unhappy one must be in order to take their own life, unless they have tried themselves.
The suicide may have made a few people late home, however a family is now grieving at the loss of a member, and obviously the person that committed suicide must have been ever so low in order to resort to this and that is tragic.


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 Post subject: Re: Selfish
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 7:26 am 
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Maybe talk about their problem with their family or seek some form of help.

As SOT quite rightly pointed out, this has affected the emergency services, the family and also quite a large number of commuters.

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 Post subject: Re: Selfish
PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 11:56 pm 
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Kremmen- I agree that in an ideal world, the family would be there to support and prevent such tragedies, and where that fails, the statutory/voluntary services would be their to take over. Sadly, life is not that simple for many, who might find themselves so stressed due to a family issue.

I have had a lot of training & experience in the area of suicide, so feel strongly about he subject and the stigma and anger that is still present in society about this act.

For many (but not all) who try or succeed , suicide is seen a positive step as it releases them from the pain and trauma they've been suffering. Some people get a burst of energy -indeed, are motivated by the prospect. This group of people do not seek help as they've found this exceptional (& to them, agreeable) way to deal with their issues.

Many people show signs of amazing selflessness by making significant amounts of plans and preparing for the day, so in some small way, the loved ones they leave behind are protected . Sometimes the planning can be detailed & can take days or weeks. So not all suicides are last minute, spur of the moment drastic events.

As far as the emergency services are involved, I believe that once(as a prospective 999 worker) you sign on the dotted line, you really can't grumble when sent to deal with such tasks, although they are often very unpleasant. Even the 'cleaner' methods can be distasteful to deal with. For instance, it's not unusual for a hanging victim to defecate themselves, involuntary of course. I have had to pass a fire service rope around such a victim's chest before cutting their rope to keep the whole knot to aid the Coroner's investigation. This was achieved by me climbing a ladder before almost hugging the victim to pass the new rope around their waste & under their arms. Did I moan about this task? Errr, actually yes. The young guy had defecated himself & been there for two days in the summer. He was not in a good state, but it's all part of a 999 workers job. If they don't like it, they should resign rather than dare to criticise a suicide victim's method or reasoning


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 Post subject: Re: Selfish
PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 1:35 am 
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I regret to have to say I once knew of someone who got to the point of standing on the edge of a platform waiting for the next High Speed train to come along. I know that the person had no family available to talk to and was so indescribably unhappy, suffering grief and rejection, violence, that there seemed to be nothing left to go on for. As Captain Flynn says, no-one can understand, but it is better to try and think of possible reasons, many of which Jim mentions, that could drive people to have such feelings of longing for finality of their lives. I'd like to add that this person was a young woman, not a young man, and would never have wanted to be considered selfish for being driven to have such dreadful thoughts in her head.
Everyone needs to be aware of the Samaritans being available to offer confidential help (as long as there is a phone and a number to hand).


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 Post subject: Re: Selfish
PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 10:29 pm 
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SOT, thats an interesting example that you posted. I hope to apply to be a Special Constable in September and go on to a regular police constable eventually and have often thought about the sights I will see, your example just adds to that. I can imagine the smell was dreadful. As you say, those that can't stand dealing with those things are not fit for a job in the emergency services.


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 Post subject: Re: Selfish
PostPosted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 12:55 pm 
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My husband and late brother-in-law were in the Fire Brigade, mostly in Hayes and Hillingdon. My husband agrees that the job is not for the squeamish, sometimes having to attend accidents which were unpleasant (putting it mildly), for all the emergency services involved.
The anniversary has just gone by of the terrible plane crash at Staines. My late brother-in-law was a Station Officer and attended the disaster with other colleagues from Hayes and maybe Hillingdon. This was just one of the awful experiences the men had to live with afterwards, and still continue with life, putting it down to part of their duty and work. My husband had to be tough and didn't ever describe much of what he saw at really bad incidents, knowing it could upset me, but, what I did know, made me feel proud, especially when their lives had been in danger to save others. The reward was the fact that people had been helped in very stressful situations.
A couple of endearing stories he remembers, though, are when the Firemen rescued a tiny, pet Hamster, trapped under kitchen units in a house locally and also, rescuing two cows immersed up to their necks in mud somewhere off Harvil Road in Uxbridge.
I have written this together with my husband who has shown interest, knowing of this topic on here. He sends his best wishes to you, SOT. (He is physically unable to use a computer).


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