Draft Outline – how to structure your personal statement (about 600 words)
You can use the template below to begin drafting your statement
1. Attention catching introduction – Start with a unique couple of attention catching sentences about you, why you want to study for an undergraduate degree and what motivates your interest in your chosen subject.
Paragraph 2—Educational background –
Start with what you are doing at the moment (the Higher Education Introductory Studies programme) and explain how you are developing the qualities and skills that are needed for successful study on your chosen degree programme. Mention specific topics that you have studied which have interested you and which are relevant for your chosen degree course. Refer to any past educational experiences that are relevant to your application and explain how they have provided a good preparation.
Paragraph 3— Show how your work or voluntary experience has also equipped you with skills you will be able to use when studying for a degree. Include any relevant social or leisure interests that you have and explain their relevance.
Paragraph 4—Summary and Conclusion –Finish on two positive sentences! The closing sentences must be attention catching. You might refer to how you plan to use your degree in the future
Remember to keep the discussion personal. Many students fall into the trap of keeping the reader at arm’s length. Having reached the conclusion, admissions officers need to feel that they know more about you than when they started. Do not get lost in jargon. The spotlight of the personal statement should remain on you and your accomplishments. A significant tool is to impart the information by showing rather than telling.
Some tips:
Try to avoid starting the personal statement with clichéd and overused sentences. For example, you should avoid starting your sentence with the following:
I always wanted to study dentistry
I want to study dentistry because….
My passion has always been for dentistry
These statements are unimaginative and highly overused. There’s no formula for an interesting introduction but have a look at the sample introductory paragraph below and the analysis of the introduction that follows it.
"I am fascinated with dentistry because I love to network and build computers. If I spoke these words aloud, many people would scratch their heads and appear confused. At first glance, this statement appears absurd. On a closer look, however, it makes perfect sense. When I work on computers, I must operate within a tiny space inside a computer cache, taking extreme care to avoid damaging the delicate equipment. As a dentist, I will also perform my duties within the smallest of spaces, using tiny instruments on fragile surfaces."
This paragraph contains all the elements of a good introduction. It includes a gripping statement that compels the reader to keep going. Once you have established a good introduction, you are ready to write about your qualifications and experiences in your subject area.
Foreground your learning skills:
Even after a short period of study on the Higher Education Introductory Studies programme, you will be developing a range of important transferable learning skills and capabilities that you can refer to in your personal statement. These include: time management; organisational skills; motivation; effective working in group contexts; ability to understand and analyse ideas, texts and arguments; ability to present ideas clearly in oral and written forms; ability to evaluate different viewpoints; active listening skills etc etc.
Grammar & Style
Limit use of long words:
The first mistake students make is to use very long words. There's nothing wrong with long words, but if used inappropriately - long words can hinder your application.
Use a combination of long and short sentences
Perfecting your sentences is the most critical element of any personal statement. A good personal statement will contain a mixture of both long and short sentences. Read your personal statement aloud, count how many words each sentence contains and look to omit unnecessary words.
Need some help to get started?
What follows are a few suggestions to help focus your mind and generate material which you can use as part of your personal statement.
A successful personal statement is all about your accomplishments. If you can’t think of any (for whatever reason), then have a go at answering the questions below. Be sure to list the context for each accomplishment. When you’ve done this, use your answers to begin completing the personal statement using the suggested structure above.
Question Answer
Describe three life experiences that have motivated your choice of study. What or who inspired you?
What are your greatest assets (qualities) that are relevant to your subject or studies? Describe two situations when you used these assets.
What has been your greatest academic achievement?
What did this show about you?
Describe factors that have motivated you to consider a career in your chosen field of study.
What has been your greatest personal achievement?
What did this show about you?
What has been your greatest achievement at work?
What did this show about you?
What are your favourite books, movies and hobbies? Have these influenced you to choose your study subject?
Have you faced any difficulties in life? How did this difficulty change you?
Have you ever worked hard for something for a long time and finally achieved your goal?
Where do you see yourself in five years time?
How does this university course fit into your plans for the future?
What would your friends and family say about you if they were writing your personal statement?
Cutting down your word count
Just finished the personal statement and you’ve run the word count to find you are over the limit? Use these hints to reduce your word count
You can normally delete the following without changing the meaning of the paragraph
‘’amazing, fantastic, nice, terrific, cohort, context, interaction, materialise, syndrome, pretty, ambience, wanted, really, very, believe, always, honestly, seriously, confidentially, personally, surprisingly, even, for my sake, as much as possible, even, only, concerned, why, where, who, what, how, if, ideally, economically, officially, obviously, clearly, surely, undoubtedly, to conclude, conclusion, introduce, knew, surprised, therefore, however, moreover and Illustrating’’
Also consider the following:
• Remove "that" - unless it's necessary
• Reword sentences containing "and, I, the, he, she, his, and her"
• Delete adverbs ("ly" endings,)
• Amend using the ending "ing”
• Delete "just" and "so”
• Erase "was" and "were" (these normally make the sentence passive and you should not have more than 2% in one document)
Need further help?
You can take advantage of ONE e-mail consultation about your personal statement with the Birkbeck UCAS tutor, Mark Donnarumma. E-mail your personal statement to Mark at the following e-mail address and he will reply with suggested ways to improve or develop the statement:
m.donnarumma@fce-sessional.bbk.ac.ukYour online application should be complete by 13th June in order for us to have time to add in your reference and send it to UCAS in good time.
References