Westonman,

I don't mind you asking for any details of what happened to me. I will always answer whenever I can because I have nothing to hide although many truths have been twisted around. I believe that a lot can be learnt from the experience I have been through, and this has been expressed also by some people who would be representative of the legal aspect, although they, themselves, would not have been involved at that time. I learnt of the word 'chicanery' from a qualified person at that time though.

I have outlined what happened to me in the books I talked about in the Arts section and just a few people have read them so far. I am all the time learning new things and so some points which I could have included are not in the books. For me never to have had anyone take some responsibility for my experience has been hard, and still is, and always will be. This is leaving out the qualified person who gave me a verbal apology.
I have been treated badly by people who only want to do that without finding out the truth and anything I have tried to do in life since has been overshadowed by the past in various ways. This has all happened because I was so caught up in the control of the first man I was married to and had no choice to go to the law. There were no authorities involved in my life and I thought that the man treating me so horribly and snatching the children would be reprimanded and ordered to return the children to me and their home.
Instead, I was tricked because of my trust, the place of the hearing was changed and all of a sudden I was the one having my character distorted. My trust and naivity was shattered and the abuse I had been going through seemed to continue at the very hearing which was supposed to be about the person who had been abusing me.

It was brought about from this that someone from the Authority became involved and although my life had been such that there could never have been any complaint about me as a mother, suddenly, again, I became under the spotlight and my children being questioned too. Something I don't think they have ever got over, and my late daughter was troubled so much that she could only keep saying in later days that they were 'just children'.

I can't believe, even now, that by me turning to the law actually caused me to lose my children in such a way that once their father obtained legal backing, I could never have them with me again even though I thought they would one day think I had been the best mother in the world to pluck up the courage to stand up to everyone and go to Law.

I am, therefore, very sorry that you and your daughter are seemingly getting caught up in the web I did. I
can't bear to think that the points you raise could be true, but it does look that way because, if not, how could my plight been allowed to continue? In my desperation, I honestly believed that the lawyers would be frantic once knowing I had lost my children when I had been a good and loving mother, and be doing their very best to get them back with me again.

Instead, they let matters get worse and worse so I hope that your situation is being handled correctly and in a responsible way.

These things need to be handled properly because the public need to know that there is Justice for them and enough Legal Aid provided to have the best legal help if it has to, sadly, come to that.

I hope that you are wrong in the reasons you suspect could be behind Teresa May's proposed legislation because, if you are right, it means that there is no progress from the trauma that I and my children went through. I hope, also that what I have told here will benefit in some way and help look out for traps not to be caught up in.

I am sorry it is depressing. I only wish that the outcome had been positive for me so that I could relate a better experience.

You may like to watch a video of today's UK Column Newscast for the 26th November 2014. It can be seen on this page http://www.ukcolumn.org/ until tomorrow, Thursday afternoon. The video is on the top left of the page. At 4 minutes and 45 seconds into the newscast discussion turns to Scotland where the topic is Fabricated and Induced Illness. David Scott comes on to explain the dangers behind this document. After David Scott a Kevin Edwards from Wales provides an update on the Linda Lewis case.

I tried watching and possibly heard half before I switched off. I will have to go back to it another time.

Westonman
I'm sorry I still haven't had a chance to see any more of the linked video but from what I heard on the part I did see, it was the secrecy which was so alarming.
I came by the expression once that work was done by 'going by the book' by the experts and not seeing real life and the facts which were obvious.
I asked someone in authority, when I was trying to have my children back, if that person could just call unannounced when the children were with me on an 'access day'. That way, it would have been seen that we were a happy family on those days but instead, there were delays whilst witness statements were prepared from other people who saw us together and said the children appeared happy. My idea of unannounced visits was refused and so was the offer to look at the many photographs showing happy times. Even hand-written , loving notes to me which the children had written of their own accord, tape-recordings of birthday parties I gave them were not taken notice of. It seemed that the natural evidence
could not be accepted which was all I could offer to show the truth. Everything I told about my worries about my own children was ignored, and it seemed to be forgotten that it was me who had to take the step of going to court in the first place for the protection of my children. A step which turned out to bring ruination of a mother and her children's lives in a family situation.

Whenever I tried to convey this to anyone it made no difference, leaving me humiliated that I knew most about my children and desperate that I couldn't get through the brick wall which seemed to have been built.
I had the advice that I could try to leave the country with the children but it was an impossible situation that I couldn't do or afford along with the fear that trying to do such a thing would lead me to more distress. The children were going through enough as it was.

I'm sorry to say this Marion, but your latest post only confirms my suspicions. Justice, and the well-being of children, are NOT the priority of the system.

I had hoped that things had moved on so that my situation couldn't happen again.

I feel that, if mistakes had been made, possibly by people carrying out work they weren't qualified to do, that should have been 'nipped in the bud' instead of letting work and circumstances snowball into things going from bad to worse. There was the expense, as well as papers regarding costs being held back for so long that when they were finally produced, the 6 year Damage Limitation Act was of no use. But my own care and concern for the children became words, mostly on paper, and any recognition that I had been a good and caring mother for the time I had been a full-time mother was becoming less and less. Really, I seemed to be the one who cared the most and yet it couldn't be admitted by the ones I needed to help get things back on track.

Therefore, it did seem in my case that there was not much care shown about my children and justice for us.

Regarding the expenses, some of that was at least restored to me by a professional person who found out mistakes had been made and put up a fight for me. Even if it had been a large amount of money, I only wanted my children and money meant nothing.

I hope the DM may think differently about their headline if this is ever seen and will realise what can happen if Domestic Abuse is thought of as being shouted at by a husband. It is much more serious than that, from my experience anyway.

Marrion, I'm only sorry I can't offer any words of comfort. We do seem to be suffering from a system that is designed to create the most suffering, and the deepest damage to children.

It's now 5 years since the final breakdown and divorce of my daughter and her husband. And only today she has received another letter, supposedly from yet another firm of lawyers, threatening further action against the mother. The basis of the latest complaint is that the children are now saying they don't want to spend the 'agreed time' time with their father. The eldest child is nearly 13, the middle one is nearly 11, and the youngest just 9. This is a man who continues to issue loud threats of violence against their mother in the presence of the children; and a man who routinely returns the children to their mother in a state of emotional distress.

In a just world it ought to be possible to prescribe a simple solution; sadly we don't live in a just world.

Maybe a Mediation Service could be helpful? There are quite a few of them around and if there is a Residency Order in place, that could be looked at again and the reasons for seeking help after 5 years considered.
These are just thoughts which came to mind.

I continue to believe that we need to be very careful when dealing with the authorities and officialdom.

Here is a report that reveals the incredible mindset of local authorities, social workers, and officialdom.

A social worker, Neil Swaby, of North East Lincolnshire Council claims that he IS God, and as such he claims the right and power to steal grandchildren.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-humber-30234549

The full significance of this social worker's mindset is astounding in its audacity; but it is a very real indication of the times we are living through. Thankfully in this case, the judge came down in favour of the grandparents; but in these politically correct times it could so easily have gone against them.

Westonman,

I am sorry not to have replied to your latest post but this has been due to illness and so my attention has had to be elsewhere and so haven't been able to post. I hope to be able to catch up soon. Thankyou for your input so far on an unpleasant, sad but real subject.

Marian